不知道为什么今天会控制不住自己的眼泪.
一个人走在我完全不认识的朱家角的小路上,没有目的,只知道走、走、走……
泪水不争气地流了下来，可我却完全不知道这泪是为何而流
悲从心来，也许这就是原因吧。
最近，有太多的事压在心头，能告诉谁呢？大家也都有自己的事，面对着决定未来的时刻。也许也只有我在为一些莫名其妙的琐事而烦恼吧。
路过一家铜管厂，据说当年能在这家工厂工作是一种莫大的荣耀。可现在……
班驳的墙壁爬满了墨绿的爬山虎、车间的玻璃支离破碎、空无一人、只有无声的风、无声的一切……

以前看《蓝色生死恋》，我为最终男女主人公的死亡而流泪，
可我现在知道，
有一种东西比生离死别更为残酷，那叫做：
物是而人非.


Soledad

If only you could see the tears
in the world you left behind
If only you could hear my heart
just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come to realise
You're a loss I can't replace
Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me
Soledad
Walking down the streets of Nothingville
Where our love was young and free
Can't believe just what an empty place
It has come to be
I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Cause I can't still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name
Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me
Soledad
Time will never change the things you told me
After all we're meant to be
love will bring us back to you and me
If only you could see
Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me
Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me
Soledad
 

Everybody’s Changing
                     ——Keane

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
 
You're gone from here
And soon you will disappear
Cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right
 
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
 
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

曾经为周遭的物是人非而困惑、痛苦，好友把Keane的这首歌送给了我。在那之后，我告诉她我会去尝试坦然面对变化．
但我终究没有履行这句话……
这几天一直在听Brain Mcfadden的歌，他的专辑很早以前就发行了，可我始终没有勇气去听．
原来的Bryan，现在的Brain Mcfadden，这一切不是简单的名字的改变．
听他的real to me，不知为何总觉得那种沧桑和成熟显得那么得刻意，似乎在拼命与过去的自己划清界限．
难道过去的自己就让他觉得如此得不堪吗？

我不愿意承认他的离开是为了名利，为了自己的solo，我宁愿相信如他自己说的是为了家庭与孩子．
只是：离婚、与Delta的相恋、自己的单曲与专辑……　事实总是如此残酷。

记得以前看westlife的演唱会时，第一个喜欢的就是他，那时觉得他是一个很可爱、单纯的孩子。

我还是没有逃过变化对我的影响……

只希望他能找到幸福，能实现自己的音乐理想吧。

Brain的歌很好听，而Bryan只属于一段曾经青春、简单、快乐的记忆了。
Gone with the wind……　

如果你是一个蚌，你愿意一生受尽痛苦去凝结一粒珍珠呢？还是不要珍珠，宁愿舒舒服服地活着呢？
如果你是一只老鼠，你突然发觉你已被关进那个叫“捕鼠器”的铁笼，而你前面有一块香喷喷的蛋糕，这时，你究竟是吃蛋糕呢，还是不吃？
早期的“扑满”都是陶器的，一旦储满了零钱，就要被人敲碎。如果有这么一只扑满：一直没有钱投进来，一直没有物尽其用，一直“瓦全”到今天，它就成了贵重的古董。你愿意做哪一种扑满？

很久没有翻杂志了，今天偶然就读到了这样一篇文章。
这三个问题其实就是一个问题：
灿烂即逝的流星与借助太阳光芒的月亮，哪一个才是我们要的人生？

我不知道自己的答案会是什么，所以我还不够成熟吧。

如果不能飞翔，翅膀就失去了意义……     ——《City of Angles》

这部电影是在除夕夜的时候看的,最初的目的只是为了抵制"春晚".
电影结束时已到了零点,当外面爆竹喧嚣时,我却流下了眼泪.
很久没有为一部电影流下眼泪了，但那一晚我却无法控制。

当天使坠落的那一刹那，镜头混沌而靡乱，也许导演也无法寻找到表达那一瞬间的最好方式吧，
只能选择用血红的基调和各种无意义的颜色与镜头的交织来表现生命、灵魂的挣扎和重生。
我很想知道，天使是否依然会选择坠落，如果他事先知道用永恒换来的只是一夜短暂的美好？

含苞的花，选择了绽放的同时，它也选择了死亡。
可我依然相信
如果不能飞翔，翅膀就失去了意义…… 
如果没有生命最绚烂的绽放，永恒就失去了意义。


Angle
spend all your time waiting for that second chance,
for a break that would make it okay.
there's always one reason to feel not good enough,
and it's hard at the end of the day.
i need some distraction oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty and weightless and maybe
i'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
some comfort here